So Amy and I just can’t figure this out – why on earth is Lauren Conrad so lovable? While we can’t wait for the vixen Kristen Cavallari to take over on The Hills, Amy and I shared a ( some would day much too long and passionate)  conversation about why Lauren was chosen to lead the series and not her Laguna Beach co-star, the more dramatic, flamboyant, and, seemingly, primed for reality-show drama Kristen. I mean, you’d never catch Lauren in this outfit, let alone actually make a sex tape.

Speaking of the sex tape, rumors of  it (according to the show) tore Heidi and Lauren apart and was the main plot point for the final episode in which Spencer finally apologized to Lauren for spreading gossip about it. (Amy found the whole thing annoying: “Lauren just can’t let things go! A sex tape? That didn’t even exist? Like, who cares??”) Unsurprisingly, Lauren confided to the ladies on The View yesterday that the phone call didn’t even happen. We at LA Pretty think that Lauren and Heidi’s BFF-ship ended because Lauren was uncontroversial and boring whereas Heidi was all about fake boobs and unabashed self-promotion, so it was more about not having anything in common as opposed to a new boyfriend getting in the way. But I digress.

Lauren did nothing, yet was the “star.” And why is this? A wonderful article over at Salon gives some insight – and yes I think it’s wonderful that Salon cares as much about The Hills as I do. (And extra thumbs up for having one of my fave books in its title.) They sum up her appeal as so:

. . .she doesn’t create drama. Drama happens to her. It’s a feeling that many junior-high-age girls (and some grown-ups) can easily identify with: I’m just trying to be nice — so why is everybody being so mean to me?

Fans at Lauren's signing at The Grove. But how long will they care about her?

Apparently this “blank innocence and persistent victimhood” is also similar to the main character in Conrad’s debut novel L.A. Candy, a book which I’m sure will be much less entertaining to read than the reviews of it. Two more books in the series are on the way but we think by then interest in Lauren will be nonexistent. We’re a society with low attention-spans and I assume Lauren’s really going to have work for her celeb-status without The Hills. So what is next for her? According to Salon:

You can, on one hand, try to branch into a legitimate industry, like fashion (which Conrad has attempted and failed to pull off), or continue milking your manufactured reality show fame — while pretending to be above it — for many years to come.

It’s this “pretending to be above it” quality of Lauren that gets under our skin, and it’s why she whimpered away from The Hills with a few lines and some fake tears. We’re over watching boring victims whine about being mistreated by others – which is why Audrina sucks and, though we love Whitney as a person, we’ve yet to see a second of The City. Oh and wait, who is this “Lo” again? Let’s bring on media whores like Speidi and Kristin.

But really, screw everyone else – Kelly Cutrone is the real star.
Salon review of L.A. Candy
New York Magazine’s fashion blog The Cut’s review.

Nicole

Image via JustJared

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